In a very concerned voice, my mom once asked me what I would do if an overwhelming number of men wanted to date me after my book was published. Well, if my book is so successful that I'm inunDATEd, then so be it! My mom, ever the worry wart, suggested I get a baseball bat to keep all the dates at bay!

 

Instead, I decided to create this submission form - an orderly and efficient means to find my Forever Person while also bypassing the black hole of dating apps.

 

For any eligible bachelor who's into the self-sufficient, secure, go-getting 40-year-old spinster type, then this page is specifically for you!

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F*** the Dating Apps! Give me your best pickup line.

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Please feel free to submit an application below to go on a date with me. I must warn you, however. My cousin Tracy will be screening submissions and she can sniff out crazy like it's her J-O-B... and, technically it will be her job.

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Beta males need not apply - no offense, I won't be into you.

Guys with overflowing suitcases of crumpled baggage - no thank you. I am not your housekeeper.

Confident, capable, secure, kind, intelligent, fit and funny single men - Yes, please!

Ages preferred between 38-46. 

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Step 1:  Submit an application below.

Step 2: Your application will be screened based on criteria that I will not share. 

Step 3: Should your application pass Step 2, you will be contacted for a second screening.

Step 4: A second screening will be conducted by my assistant.

Step 5: Should it pass again, my assistant will share your application with me, at which point I will determine if or when I would like to contact you to arrange a date.

Step 6: We fall madly in love. Or, we decide it was a fun little experiment and go our merry ways.

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Legal disclaimer:  There is no purchase required to date me but it is highly encouraged because, damn it, my book is good. Oh, and you should know what you're getting yourself into. Cheers!